It’s been a busy few weeks. I want to sincerely thank everyone who reached out to me after my mother’s death. Your support, kind words and prayers mean so much. I have not been shy in sharing my story of estrangement because I know I am not alone in dealing with family dysfunction. Family is everything but it can be the most complicated relationship of our lives!
Sharing the challenges is never meant to diss family but to help with the healing, mine and others. My mother was wonderful in so many ways, but poor emotional and mental health kept her from being all she was capable of being. As the weeks have gone on, I have been in my parents’ home more now than in 27 yrs and boy is it challenging. Treasures and bombs lie around every corner. Finding deep emotional triggers has been a roller coaster ride for sure. But unearthing some sweet tokens of the past has been so meaningful. I now have my mom’s hammer in my tool box!
My mom was the one who taught me to DIY. She taught me to tinker, to problem solve, and to take stuff apart and fix it. I have found her collection of Popular Science Home Repair manuals. The books she learned from are now on my bookshelves. I stood in the stairwell where she and I once rigged a scaffold out of a ladder, a plank and a hamper! Not OSHA compliant but we wallpapered that stairwell together when I was just 10. Oh the memories.
Now my brother, sister and I are embarking on the process of closing the estate and selling the house. We had a massive yard sale this weekend and cleared out so much – 59 years of a family’s possessions. I have learned that I need to start clearing out stuff from my own house. There is no need to have so many things. Things don’t bring joy; people do. If you are a pack rat saving things because you might need it someday, do your family a favor and start minimizing now. Trust me they will appreciate it later.
In the next few weeks, we will tackle some upgrades to the house so we can sell it and hopefully find a nice young family to move in and start the adventure of their lifetime where we had ours. I’ll share those hacks as we go.
