A Confession, a Discovery and a Shift

I have a confession.

Over the last few months, really since early summer, I lost my passion for DIY and for HIP Chicks. I found myself struggling with anxiety, distractibility and fatigue. I thought it was stress. I was dealing with a lot of life’s moments.  My oldest was leaving for college, my sister was deep in the divorce process and I was not making the progress on my DIY TV show that I wanted. I continued to be positive, faking it many days. I continued to teach and to tackle DIY projects, but my heart was not in it. By November, I was in physical pain on daily basis. I had joint pain, fatigue and panic attacks. Too often, I found myself on the couch watching Family Feud…just me and Steve Harvey hanging out in the afternoon. This was not ME. I had gained weight because when I felt bad I went for comfort food. I was not exercising because it hurt too much. Few people knew how crappy I felt, not even my husband. I am supposed to be inspiring, there for everyone, and the girl who “had her shit together”. That is how people tell me that they see me. I saw me falling apart.

I was living with great anxiety

I was living with a great anxiety that one of two things was going on. One, I was beginning menopause and undergoing a major shift, a shift like I witnessed my mother go through. It terrified me because for her it was a painful physical and mental transformation that destroyed our family. That’s another story for another time. But I didn’t want that to be my future.

The second fear was that I had developed Lupus, a degenerative auto immune disease. I had many symptoms and a strong family history, including my mother, a cousin and my dear uncle who died at 44 from it. After weeks of suffering from migrating pain in my joints and days of struggling to carry a gallon of milk, I went for blood work. I am very blessed to say that I do not have Lupus, Lyme’s, RA or a myriad of other issues. The doctor still didn’t have an answer so I went researching for myself. Being a former RN, I had to treat myself like a patient and seek a diagnosis.

I had all the symptoms

My investigations led me to suspect that I was gluten intolerant. I had all the symptoms – brain fog, depression, GI upset, anxiety, joint pain and exhausting fatigue.  So I said, WHY NOT go gluten free. Well, it worked. My body had been crying out for months that it needed healing; my gut was not happy and it made the rest of me not happy until I listened. I am so glad I did.

It has been now been 6 weeks of eating gluten free. I feel like a new person! I have no pain at all. My brain is clearer and I have had not had one panic attack. It is truly life changing. My new diet has not been too tough except for one night I accidently ate a food with wheat flour in it and spent three days in bed with joint pain and GI upset. It is that powerful of a reaction. My body is still healing. I am slowly getting back to my 5k runs and eating better overall.  And I have learned a lot in the last few months.

Listen to your body. Pain is its way of crying out for help.

Seek alternative answers and ways of doing things. One way is not the only way.

Food is healing or hurtful. Eat as clean as you can!

It’s okay to ask for help; DOING it YOURSELF doesn’t mean doing it alone.

It’s okay to turn to others for help and say I can’t do it.

I am not crazy, my symptoms were real!

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